SAYING NO; WHY, WHEN, HOW?


saying no when necessary makes you strong

saying no when necessary makes you strong

The Challenge

  • You want to say No to a request but you find it difficult to do due to certain circumstances.
  • You are being pressured to do what is against your personal principles by a person you hold in high esteem – perhaps a respectable family member – or a person of authority – perhaps a boss at work; You want to say No, but you may be in big trouble or perhaps hurt their feeling. These are both cases you would rather avoid.
  • You have a problem of accepting every request to help people out and find it difficult to say No even when you may not be able to handle all of them

Scenario 1: Your boss or customer pressures you to falsify information about a business transaction, how would you say No without sounding self righteous or disrespectful?

Scenario 2: A family member is requesting for your aid to run an errand but you already promised to help out a friend at same time, you know it would be really had but you agree anyway not knowing how to make it happen, will you just do not want to hurt them. What could you have done better?

This article is meant only to provide guidelines on the issue but not dictate what you should do in each case.

Why Say No

There are couples of reasons why it may be necessary to say No; here are a few.

  • Saying No When Necessary Gives You Greater Control over Your Choices: Imaging just accepting every opinion from others, you lose the ability to choose the course of your life. You lose your identity so to say. You become other people’s puppet. To prevent that, say No to things that go against your way of doing things.
  • You Avoid Doing Things That Would Hurt You Later: When you do things against your principles just because you were pressured to do so, you end up being pricked by your Conscience. Imaging how much of your Happiness is lost at that point.
  • You Utilize Your Time More Effectively: While helping others is wonderful, if you accept to every request for aid, you might lose control of your time, even time for more important things like rest and yourself (Ecclesiastes 3:1). This is the quickest way to get stressed Moreover, when you accept more than you can do, you end up not doing some. Ultimately, you are disappointed and you end up disappointing and even hurting those you wanted to protect. Overall your Happiness is diminished.
  • Makes You More Dependable: When people know that you mean your Yes and No whenever you say them, they would be more likely to trust your words (Matt 5:37).

HOW TO SAY NO

  • Be Mild And Tactful: Calmly and tactfully explain to the person why you will or will not do a particular thing. Reasonable people are more likely to respect your opinion when they are not insulted. Be careful not to act self righteous.
  • Do Not Be Judgmental: Remember that everyone has got their choice to make.
  • Be Reasonable: Don’t be unreasonable. Know when there are good reasons to change your mind if there are good reasons to do so.
  • Be Firm: When you say No, mean it! Do not give in to pressure, or that puppy face. People will see you as gullible and get you to do things you don’t want to do.
  • Be Bold: When it involves saying No to a person in authority a measure of Courage and Boldness is needed to say no. When people sense that you are insecure or afraid, they may be predisposed to control you with fear. Boldness prevents that from happening.

It is not always easy, but you benefit more when you reasonably say No to certain things when necessary, you become truly happy.

Action Plan

be prepared. Think of situations where it might be difficult to say No and plan in advance of how best you will respond.

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